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Life Changing Stories Born a Buddhist From Religion to a Relationship God Bless America Healed from the Pain Miracle Healing from Leukemia My God! They Hit Head-on! My Search for the Messiah

My Search for the Messiah
by Bob Drake

I am a Jewish man who came to know Jesus Christ (Yeshua) as my Messiah at age 46, when I gave my life to Him. Since then, my life has been truly blessed with a joy, peace, love and comfort that I have never before known. The tight grip that fear had on my life has been broken (Satin loves to cripple us with fear). I have been blessed with a wonderful godly wife, daughter and new baby! My grown son has a good job and is in college. I have many Christian friends who are supportive, encouraging, loving and live clean and upright lives. I have a stable and rewarding job in ministry and a part time position at the church as well! However, things haven't always been like this.

Both my parents were loving and caring. However, I was unhappy as a child much of the time. My dad had a great sense of humor, worked very hard and I really loved him. He had suffered from a bad back, migraine headaches and a heart problem (which I wasn't aware of). We always observed the Jewish festivals and my brother and I went to Temple Bible studies. I didn't enjoy these Bible studies because I didn't speak or understand Hebrew and felt intimidated and out of place. The sermons in the synagogue were not presented in easy to understand language, so I did not know what was being said. I was not comfortable being a Jew.

Some Christian kids at school were cruel. I heard them make comments such as, "dirty Jew" or "I Jewed him out of it" or "he's a Kike". They did not know I was Jewish and said these things right in front of me! I began to hate Christians. I thought, "All I ever hear from Christians is anti Semitic remarks. They're supposed to be loving to others, but are not. What hypocrites!" I asked my mom why Christians hated Jews so much and she said she thought it was because of Judas and the other Jews who turned Jesus in to be crucified. I had no idea that Jesus is the Jewish Messiah; I thought he was a Christian! I didn't understand why I, as a Jew, should be hated for His death. I wasn't even there when it happened. What did it have to do with me! I was afraid to tell anyone I was Jewish for fear they would dislike me and not be my friend. My heart was sad and I felt sick inside over this.

Often I thought, "I'll never go to church and try the Christian faith, because why would anyone want to be like one of them? They think their way is the only way and always make me feel like I'm one down!" I remember when my first wife and I were at a gathering with friends in a Baptist family home and one of the folks there asked me what church I went to. I said I am Jewish and don't attend church. (A Jewish place of worship is referred to as Temple or Synagogue.) The response I received was, "Oh you're Jewish, that's wonderful. You're half completed". I felt very insulted and my feelings were hurt. Christians were actually pushing me further and further away from Christ with insensitive comments like these. I wanted nothing to do with any of them.

At age 12 my father died of a heart attack and I was devastated! One day he was in my life, the next day gone! I had a very rough time for many years growing up without my dad. My mom worked very hard to provide a good home in raising my brother and me, but my dad wasn't around and I felt very alone. One night at age 13, I fell down on my bed, cried, and begged God to help me and even asked Jesus, "If you are the Son of God, please help me"! At the time I wondered why God didn't help me or respond to my prayer (Though today I am certain that the Lord was there each and every day, watching over me). I started to believe God probably didn't exist.

My first marriage failed. God blessed me with a wonderful son from this marriage. However, I was sad as I observed how difficult it was for my son at age 5 to understand the marriage breakup and how it added stress to his life. My second marriage also failed. It ended in financial ruin. God was not held at the center of either marriage. We didn't worship the Lord. We didn't read the Bible. We didn't pray. We lived by worldly precepts and were gripped by fear and tried to control things around us. After my second divorce, I went into counseling in an effort to understand why I was attracted to women who were not a good match for me. I had an excellent counselor who told me to "date only nice women and just enjoy their company". Shortly after, I met a wonderful and loving Christian woman, Lynn, who is now my wife.

Up to that point, Lynn was one of only a few Christians that I had ever known, who I enjoyed being around. As I began to also get acquainted with her Christian friends, for the first time in my life I liked being around Christians. Lynn's friends didn't say negative things about Jews or make me feel uncomfortable. They didn't preach to me. These Christians really were loving! They accepted me for who I was and for the first time in my entire life, I started to feel comfortable being a Jew! Lynn and I dated for five years before our marriage. We didn't move in together prior to getting married, as I did with my second wife. We took our time to build a relationship and to get to know each other's children.

As the Holy Spirit was drawing me near, I began to question my life and the things that had been important to me. My life of success in business and making money, always competing with and comparing myself to others, being fearful, worried, and attempting to constantly control things was not very satisfying. I learned how Christ had cared for and guided Lynn during times of great trial. Periodically, for several years I would ask Lynn, "What do you think we are supposed to be doing here in this world; why do you think we are here"? Finally, one evening she answered me and said, "WE ARE HERE TO GET READY". Wow! Something changed in me the night I heard that. I felt like there was some hope in my life. God was drawing me closer.

In the summer of 1999 I experienced a physical breakdown due to severely tense and sore back muscles and muscular issues throughout my body. The pain was excruciating! I thought my back was broken and that I needed surgery. An MRI evaluation by an excellent neurosurgeon revealed to me that surgery wouldn't help and I needed physical therapy. I was scared out of my mind! I was afraid to move and the pain was so extreme I could barely walk. Only two weeks before, Lynn and I were married. Pastor Dave Beckwith of Woodbridge Community Church performed the ceremony. My back was even hurting then (as it had off and on for 26 years prior), but the Lord helped me get on my feet so I could get married. In a pre marital meeting, pastor Dave prayed for me to accept Christ and I allowed him to do it! The Holy Spirit was drawing me closer and closer!

During the next three months, I lived in the upstairs part of the house trying to walk and endure the pain. I was in tears because of the pain and in fear much of the time. Lynn often asked if she could pray for me. Of course I let her! I felt helpless and needed prayer and loved her for asking. One day she asked if she could read to me the book of Job from the Bible and again I was very open. I didn't know anything about Job. I learned how Job loved and served God and how God allowed Satan to hurt Job to prove his loyalty to the Lord. But God never allowed Job more pain then he could bear. Afterwards, God healed Job and blessed him twice as much as he was blessed before. I cried when I heard this story because as much pain as I was in, Job experienced a thousand times more and God healed and blessed him!

It was soon after hearing the story of Job that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior! Christ has saved my life to live with Him forever and from the evil vacuum of this world. I owe my life to Him and give it freely. Shortly after being saved, the Lord directed me to the proper professionals to begin the work of healing my body and actually making me stronger and more flexible than I had been since before I was 20 years old! More importantly, the Lord gave me and continues to give the gift of spiritual healing! Interestingly enough, now that I am a Christian (Messianic Jew), I am learning more about my Jewish roots than I ever had before. I have become aware that the entire Bible has a Jewish origin, and that the Messiah came for the Jews first and then the gentiles. I am also acutely aware that all humans are God's creatures and He desires a loving relationship with us all, equally! This means: God loves you!